Polyamory in the News
. . . by Alan M.



May 29, 2013

"Will the bonobos in our midst make monkeys of us all?"

National Post (Canada)

A columnist in Canada's conservative National Post harrumphs that the country's polys will "make monkeys of us all" when they eventually seek group marriage — picking up on an organizer's remark in the paper's recent article about Polycon, the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association's convention coming up this weekend in Vancouver.

Remember, if you don't want it quoted out of context, don't let it come out of your mouth. Speak to the media, in particular hostile media, using the sound bite formula, in which every bit you say can stand by itself. Another pro tip: don't answer the question that was asked, answer the question you wish was asked. Listen to politicians and corporate flacks and you'll hear them doing both these things; that's why they sound so good.


What would the bonobos do?

By Barbara Kay

The author...
Should we be surprised that “polyamorists” — mixed-sex threesomes or foursomes in open “relationships” — have come out of the closet, clamouring for their slice of the matrimonial pie?

This week, the new Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) will be discussing its claims for family legitimacy at its first conference in Vancouver. Zoe Duff, a director of CPAA, says: “As a long-term thing, I can see a desire to have the right to marry.”

...and her opponents.
The law against polygamy was upheld in 2011 by the Supreme Court of Canada, but the Court didn’t put the kibosh on informal sexual arrangements that fell outside its bounds. Now some polyamorists are looking for the glittering prize of legal validation.

I’m no Cassandra. But in 2006 I warned in a column: “Don’t panic … about polygamy … Save your panic for “polyamorous” marriage … Thanks to such ‘advances’ as the recent Supreme Court of Canada’s ‘swingers’ ruling [which legitimated group sex as a for-profit business that did no “harm”], polyamory is acquiring respectability, thus paving the way for public acceptance.”

...In 2010, at Toronto’s “Idea City” conference, I attended a presentation made by a married academic couple, Cacilda Jethá and Christopher Ryan. They were billed as “monogamy mythbusters.” Their research specialty was the mating behaviour of bonobos. These creatures are sexually promiscuous, especially the females, who will couple anytime, anywhere, with any male bonobo except their sons (even primates have taboos, it seems). Bonobos do not pair bond. Sex for bonobos is a social activity, and all the bonobos seem happy.

The presenters made no attempt to disguise their underlying thesis that bonobos have lessons to teach human beings. Specifically: be promiscuous, be happy, be non-violent.

...No, they were not kidding. The presenters made no attempt to disguise their underlying thesis that bonobos have lessons to teach human beings. Specifically: be promiscuous, be happy, be non-violent.

...I admit that I look somewhat smugly forward to the rhetorical cirque de soleil of polyamorists’ eventual Supreme Court challenge. Will the bonobos in our midst make monkeys of us all?


Read the whole article (May 29, 2013), and join the comments.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Campaka said...

Monkeys get married? I don't understand the logic.

May 29, 2013 9:06 AM  
Anonymous Silenus said...

No Barbara, polyamorists won't make a monkey out of you, at least. You'll still be a snake. And by that I mean you will still enjoy hurting people who have done you know harm, just for pursuing what they see as the good live for them.

That said, the real answer to the "who can get married" issue is everyone, any way they want, as long as they are consenting adults. What we have now is socialized marriage, where the government tells you who you can marry. I bet you don't like government to tell you what to do in any other area of your live, Barbara. But you're giving them a pass on marriage because they are forcing you to do it the way you want to anyway.

So let's get the government out of marriage and stop meddling in the lives of loving, consensual adults.

May 29, 2013 9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meh. The columnist managed to make herself look stupid, and is getting savaged in the comments. And it's the National Post, which would make something up if it didn't have anything to work with. No big deal.

May 29, 2013 2:01 PM  

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